I was once asked, why is it that religious Jewish Families, the divorce fate is less than 10%.
What is the secret of the Jewish marriage?
So I told them, that the secret of a Jewish marriage can be found in the mitzwah of the commandment of Chanukah.
What has Chanukah to do with a Jewish marriage?
Chanukah is unique in that the mitzwah of lighting the candles of Chanukah, is not a mitzwah on individuals, but it is a mitzwah at the House!
The Guemara says NER ISH OUBEITO.
That the mitzwah is to light a candle in your house for the Family
While most mitzwot are individuals,
- Men put Tefilin, it is an individual mitzwah
- a woman prays, it is an individual mitzwah
Why is it that Chanukkah is a mitzwah at the House?
To understand this, we have to understand what is the concept of NER, lthe concept of lighting a candle!
So we have a NER for Shabbat, and the lighting of la candle on Shabbat is suppose to be on the occasion of
SHALOM BAYIT, to having tranquility and happiness in the House.
Also, the lighting of the candles on Chanukah teaches us to have tranquility and to have happiness in the House.
What is special about lighting a candle?
A candle has
the wick which is physical,
and a flame which is spiritual.
The combination of spiritual and physical together,
that is a way of creating TRUE happiness.
When you have balance the husband and the Wife,
balance each other with their own characteristics,
How many do they work together
That’s gives the special atmosphere which creates a feeling of unity and gives everybody in the house a great happiness!
We have a custom in our Family:
We call it SHEMESH
What is SHEMESH,
the sun, light!
It is also stands for:
SICHA means a discussion
MISCHPACHTI means Family
SHAVOUA means week
Every Saturday night after Shabbat, we meet all the Family together and we would discuss different things we all are interested in,
This Shemesh, this light, which is over the Family gives the members of the Family that unity.
The person that represents this idea, is Aaron Hakohen who is the Priest in the Beith Hamikdash, He was the one who run after Happiness, making feel people united, feel together.
And he is the one who lit the candle