Chayei Sarah

Roundup

The best acts of kindness aren’t random. They stem from understanding what the situation requires​. 
Abraham sends his faithful servant, Eliezer to find a suitable wife for his righteous son, Isaac. When Eliezer arrives at his destination he prays to HaShem to send him a sign to enable him to determine who should be Isaac's wife. 
He asks, “Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink' and who replies, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels'; she, You will have designated for Your servant, for Isaac, and may I know through her that You have done kindness with my master.” 
The commentaries explain that he did not merely suggest a random sign; rather he wanted to ascertain that the future Matriarch would have a highly developed sense of kindness. The commentaries see in the exactness of his prayer that it was insufficient that she merely respond to his request for water; he planned to only ask for water for himself and hoped that she would react on her own initiative and offer to water the camels as well.
The Sforno and Malbim show that it was insufficient that Rebecca be kind, rather she needed to demonstrate wisdom that would enable her to perceive Eliezer's true needs without him even asking her directly. We learn from here that in order to perform kindness in the most optimal way, a person must use wisdom and develop an awareness of the people around him. This enables him to perceive another person's needs and provide for him rather than waiting to be approached.
Throughout our daily lives we encounter people who may be in need of some kind of assistance. However, very often, they are too embarrassed to explicitly ask for help. Therefore, it is necessary to strive to emulate Rivka and perceive their real needs. For example, one person was found to be living in desperate poverty, how was it discovered? A friend had lent him 25 shekels some weeks earlier and casually asked if his friend could repay it. The borrower's face turned white at the sheer impossibility of having to pay back such a loan.
Such a reaction alerted his friend and he made some investigations and discovered that this man did not have enough money to live on the most basic level. Sometimes, the facial expression of a person or a casual comment will indicate a certain need. It is in our power to develop an awareness to such hints and thereby greatly increase our capacity for doing kindness​.